heyz today was the pbmir activity outing to bukit timah. haha yea it was fun but very very tiring especially since i'm still sick... haiz... it was mainly got 3 parts lar, 'amazing race' then got quiz and skit lah so yea quite fun. my grp got 4th overall though out of 5. haha.
haiz.. these few days i dunno why but i jus seem to think a lot. i keep thinking about my life. all these 14 yrs that i've been through it seems so fast. all the ups and downs but mainly it all started last yr my so called 'transition'. lets just say my life is definitely not a perfect one. i know there is no one who has a perfect life.
everyone faces different problems each moment of their life. some get hard probs sum get easy probs. wadeva it is we all still hafta go through them and solve them. sometimes the problems may get too hard for u dat u seem like u wanna run away from it. yea i felt that before. sometimes it gets so bad u feel like there's no point going through the problem and no point living ur life. u jus feel like suicide is the best option there and then.
but jus think about wad will happen when u end ur life like that. jus think about the people around you. ur family, ur friends, ur bf/gf, and everyone else who know you. at some point of your life, especially when u're in this kinda state u feel like there's no one who cares for or about you. but jus imagine when u're gone wad would they think? they'd be hurt cuz they would then wished they could help u with ur probs but its u who dun tell them.
i looked back at my 14 yrs of life and realised i was in distress many times but there were people who really helped me out though i thought about suicide many times too. i guess its all over and i've started a new chapter though i know that no matter which chapter i am at, i will still face more problems. jus gotta stay strong mentally n emotionally i guess. mebbe i'm bad at this that's why i'm falling prey to my probs...
all of the memories so close to me just fade away
ciaoz
dreamingaway 7/31/2004 05:34:00 pm
